20 lessons and insights from 20 years of marriage.

My wife and I celebrate 20 years of marriage on January 11, 2023. We’ve loved and grown a lot along the way.

Here are 20 lessons and insights learned — included, too, are several thank yous, to my wonderful wife, Stephanie. I love you.

The universe comes together as it’s meant to
God brought us together, I truly believe that. So many signs when we met and through our first 20 years.

Religious differences don’t matter
Lutheran vs. Catholic? Made for some fun, early conversations … but, together we are one, and no matter where we go to church, Fr. Tim, Pastor Caroline, Sr. Mary, and God all have our back. :)

Listen to your friends — especially Beth and the alderman
Remember when we met? Of course, we do. It was through the one and only Beth Weirick. She knew right away. And, remember who also told us that we needed to get married? Former Downtown alderman Paul Henningsen. Too funny! Glad that they were both right.

Embrace shared missions and divergent paths
I have always loved that we shared a love of the city and community, but your fashion, artistic, business, and creative paths have helped us both furnish and grow.

Family ties and parents rock
As Jake once said, “family’s always gonna stay at the top.” And, for 20+ years — it has. And, even with your Dad in Heaven and our grandparents, there too, we’re full of festive family fun — always.

Fashion fits
We’ve graced a few magazine covers together, and always because we know it’s good to look good. Fashion is front and center — thank you for keeping me in line and well-dressed. :)

Kids improve everything
Truly grateful for our children, Jake and Pierce. They are blessings and have made us better people. Can’t wait to see them continue to grow and succeed over the next 20 years, and beyond.

God knows
Through any and all challenges, we’ve known that — as Stephanie always says — “God’s in charge.” This — at times — can be a hard concept to sit with when you’re alone in your own head. I’m grateful that together we reinforce that life works itself out.

Be yourself
We’re a family and a couple, but we’re our own people. Everyone is. I think this is important and helps accentuate our positives.

Quiet time is OK
After busy days or weekends, the Sherman family embraces “quiet time.” Together is great, but we all need alone time. This a good tip for all families.

Things change and time flies
Seems almost too cliche to even write this, but I have to. 20 years have gone way too fast. Time doesn’t stand still, and there’s nothing constant but change — so, it’s great to find faith in our foundation.

Join a club or two
Our “clubs” have helped us — Wisconsin Club, elite, Calderone Club — they’ve all created anchors for fun and family. Have a club for your family and in your relationship.

Complement and compliments
We’re not the same people but our differences create complementarily benefits and our daily compliments for one another -even if just a simple text — mean the world.

Talk in code
Inscribed with your ring, Stephanie, is “ILP.” By now, our kids probably know what it stands for — but it’s mainly our own signature greeting and daily text. No matter what, I suggest having a secret code or two within relationships. It’s worked for us.

Have a show
Life gets in the way, but having a TV show that we watch together has always been fun. It was “Lost” while we waited for Jake to be born and so many others through the years. One of these days, we find another one — maybe when youth sports wind down. :)

Sing
Concerts have always been a part of our life. Thanks, wife, for letting me sing my songs even though you have a great voice! Many more concerts and Summerfests in our future!

Show love, but know that you both may show it differently
We show our love and commitment, but sometimes a text or gift, or note isn’t enough. Sometimes it’s just about listening and loving. Thanks for reminding me of this, and thanks for embracing our differences and for loving me!

Family hugs!
Family fights happen. Challenges come. But, as a family, we bring it together with family hugs. They work. #TeamSherman

Cheer for your kids and your community
You are truly great at this, Stephanie. Thanks for always cheering on our families, our kids, and our community.

Love and respect are all you need
I heard an interview with a couple going into 70 years of marriage. Both, of course, talked about God and love, but both said respect — through it all — was what it was all about. I’ll always respect our love and blessings, and you, wife.

Happy 20th. 01–11–03